All right.. i've already missed 4 days lesson in school.. i'm not kidding.. yup is 4 days.. i'm down with very serious sore eyes.. grrr... damm vexed over it already.. haix.. cant be bothered already lah.. doc told me that i'll recover the earliest only by nxt monday.. and my eyes really hurt alot.. even tho i slp till 11 plus everyday.. LOLX.. =X

well.. what else to blog?? i've doing some revision as well as catching up my anime.. D gray man.. hahx.. i'll give it 4 out of 5 stars.. hehex.. these 3 days already watch 35 eps.. LOLX.. (how to recover =X ) hahax..

Well.. seems like alot of ppl do care about me.. hahx.. asked me how was i even tho i didnt hear it from them.. but ppl asked ard what happened tho.. hahax.. dont worry.. i wont die so easily one.. not cancer or anything.. just sore eyes.. hehex..

ok lah.. wait till i get more inspiration i'll blog more bah..

All right.. hahx.. i must say my national day was a rather interesting one.. hahax.. lets start with wed bah.. hahax.. didnt have time to blog..

Wednesday
Well.. hahx.. woke up and met wei li and juli for breakfast.. hahax.. 6am at admiralty macdonalds.. hahax.. so just dont know why but just decided to give them a treat.. LOLX.. 19 dollars eh.. hehex.. but although abit heartache.. but felt great as i dont know why.. but whenever i give ppl a treat or bless them, i'll feel so gd and happy..

so took 964 and followed by 911 to sch.. reported straight to the central square.. den gallery as i got to take my colours award.. hahax.. so took my award.. and was rather glad that still got ppl cheer for me tho.. LOLX.. appreciated guys.. anyway.. for this colours award, i wanna thank Mr Ho for this recommendations.. actually, without him, i wouldnt be the benjamin i am today in terms of my skills in badminton..

Taking this colours award is like it brought me back to times when i was still only in sec 1, when i first got into badminton that time.. being fat and the slowest in everything i do, my seniors like ah seng ah, han ling, yi ming, jason and others lah.. they like to tekan and disturb me.. and hence, ah seng even gave me the name turtle bcoz i walk like one and i'm slow like one.. hahax.. and now, i'm in sec 4 already.. like in an eye's blink.. and it's like besides seniors or play with wei li and jian wei when they pair, it's like i'm unbeatable in doubles in marsiling sec liao.. walau eh.. damm fast lah.. and i'm like graduating liao..

anyway, after that, went to the hall and watch abit of concert for a while.. halfway through, went out to do my inspection on the sports leaders with their games.. they seems to be doing extremely well tho. .hahax.. damm proud of them as always..

so sch ended at 10.. den took cab home and took my badminton gear.. after that, headed back to sch and started playing with wei li.. at that time, got quite a few students in the hall with teachers playing badminton.. hahax.. den also got Mr Tay and his gymnastics people.. also some netball girls sitting by the glass door chitchatting.. saw her... den was like super high lah.. den wei li like keep on disturbing me.. but too bad lah.. she also never look at me playing.. but wei li.. hahax.. seeing me play is like seeing a ball rolling in the badminton court.. LOLX.. so play ah play.. den in the end, all students gone.. only left with teachers.. LOLX.. got Mr Ho, Mr elango, Mr Goh, Ms Chiu, Mr Pradeep and cant rmb liao.. hahax.. so play ah play.. den i single with wei li.. played till rubber set.. LOLX.. is not i gd leh.. is he string burst.. hahax.. if not rubber set also might not reach.. but honestly speaking, i was damm high lah during the 2nd set.. i also never thought i can do so many stuff.. especially with my wrist..

went to dhoby gaut with ms chiu and mr goh and wei li later.. hahax.. eat dim sum.. den followed by coffee at ya kun toast.. LOLX.. ms chiu like so motherly lah.. hahax.. although dont know her well.. but she still treat me like her son sia.. even tho i not her son.. LOLX.. den mr goh.. he's a log man.. a pure log sleeper.. hahax.. so chatted till rather late tho.. was in bugis from afternoon 4 plus till 8 o clock at night.. LOLX.. but had a great time.. shall not disclose more..

when i got home.. i went online.. and chatted with her.. and guess what i did.. i confessed to her.. but she like treated it like a joke leh.. was super heartbroken lah.. den she like not surprise at all leh.. aiyah.. shall not say anymore things liao lah..

Oh yar.. and i finally gained back all the slp that i've lost.. LOLX..

Thursday..
Woke up at noon.. LOLX.. bro ordered KFC delivery.. den it was the 1st time i told him about me liking a girl lah.. den he like not surprise or like hack care about it.. he just told me to dont care about that girl.. she dont deserve my love.. so yeah.. den went for cell group and went home to watch NDP..

NDP this yr boring lah.. the commander also super lousy.. hahax.. after that went to City Hall with wei li.. to pick juli up.. den went home liao.. hahax.. boring day eh.. LOLX..

Friday
I was like super tired lah.. woke up at 9.. but when i woke up, i just started to think about what happened on wed night.. so i slept more.. trying to indulge myself in sleep more.. so slept till my bro started to scream at my face.. did my homework.. and after that watch TV..

went for jogging.. as i jog.. things and thoughts just keep on appearing on my head.. regarding her and what happened on wed night.. and as i jog and at the same time listening to some sad music.. i started tearing.. and i called wei li.. told him if can come down and chat with me.. but he's not at home.. he told me smth that i really feel is true.. it's easier to say than to do something.. like saying it is very easy.. but doing it is not.. so nevermind.. i went home.. took my racket.. went to the badminton court downstairs to do footwork.. i was like i never swing the racket so hard before lah.. and i never push myself so hard as well.. so i do ah do.. do till my leg just cramp.. and i just lay on the floor just hoping to scream it out.. but it was already 11 plus in the night liao.. cant do so.. so as i was laying on the floor, looking in the clear clear sky.. i just thought.. is it all worth it or not.. getting in so much pain bcoz of this girl.. is it or not.. it's like as tho she appreciates me.. so dragged myself home and chatted with jerome, joy and pingping.. felt so much better.. and to think i went through so much pain for nothing.. they are still the best.. LOLX.. love you all guys..

But honestly speaking.. i still havent got over her yet.. i'm still attracted to her.. and if you are reading it.. i meant every single word i said that night..

Well.. to everyone.. dont bother asking me or asking my friends about who's that girl.. no point lah.. find out also u cant do anything.. so what for waste time and find out.. President also cannot like a girl meh.. i also a guy leh.. i got hormones one leh.. of course will feel affectionate and attrated to a girl right..

so my national day holiday is just that boring.. hahax.. =)
blog till here bah.. byes..

Oh well.. hahx.. back to blog again.. i'm so busy with so many things.. from homework, to FOP to School stuff to Cell Group to Service to tuition.. so many things to do.. eeerrrr...

so where do i start off with?? i dont know.. but i just feel so free from all oppression.. from my previous problems.. i realised that i never use vulgarities anymore already.. especially those starting with letter F or B.. my tongue is like totally under control.. i find my anger problem also being surpressed already.. i dont get irritated very easily like last time.. i find my thinking really changed alot.. like i'm more calm nowadays..never have all sorts of funny lustful thoughts already.. like fantasies ah etc.. it's not say i'm proud to type these out but i feel that i'm not ashamed that i have these problems and i'm glad to say that i've faced them, confronted them and got over them already.. all thanks to something that happened to me on 28th July..

FOP was great.. but the sadest thing was i didnt get to see the service at all.. but at least i get to hear it.. i was serving along south doing traffic but in the end, i was transfered to overflow room where i got to jaga the toilet and preventing people from entering the south balcony.. anyway, i really had fun.. Reached home extemely late.. hahax.. or it can be counted as early bah.. hahax.. =)

Well, so bored now alone at home.. mum will be away to australia with uncle peter for 10 days.. and i'll be home alone these 10 days as my bro will be in army camp.. but seems like i'll be watching national day parade alone bah.. hahax... but hope that people will ask me out.. LOLX.. or maybe hold a party at home??.. hahax.. i dont know.. but being home alone is nth special.. it's like a normal feeling.. the same kind of feeling ever since bro went to army.. he's never at home and mum often comes home late of it not i'll be home late and mum is asleep already.. so it's like part of a lifestyle for me already.. but one thing i know is that even though my mum is working till very late hours and never spent time with me, i never felt that i' m in lack.. bcoz i have alot of ppl who actually care for me like my friends and cell members..

Feeling very choky these past 2 weeks.. like i cant stop coughing.. cough till i like duan qi like that.. like shortness of breath that kind of feeling.. but i believe it's all due to the weather bah.. change of it.. hahax.. extremely bad weather.. everyone is coughing and having flu lately..

Well.. today i must say must be my best day in school so far ever since sch started 7 wks ago.. today was like the best so far lah.. the reason?? simple.. i'll be the only one from badminton getting colours award for badminton.. WOOHOO.. but who else can take sia besides me.. if we actually made it to nationals this year, jian wei would have taken with me.. haix.. disappointed lah.. lets not talk about it here.. regarding tournament..

Spoke to coach today.. i was telling him that i was interested to do some coaching for our school for our boys doubles players.. and surpirsingly, he agreed.. so i'll be back after my o lvls as coach ben.. hahax.. only coaching the doubles as i'm only trained in doubles all my life.. i really look forward to see myself being a very strong player after my Os.. especially with hopefully a lighter and fitter body... with more muscles and less fats.. i'm like a ball now lah.. but after my o lvls, i've decided to put in my time and effort during that period of time to train my stamina.. i would go for jogging probably ard 6km everynight and go to gym on alternate days bah.. so that i can improve on my arm power, my flexibility, speed and stamina.. i really hope that i'll be able to have the determination and will to train during that period of time and not to give up for whatever reasons.. also, i'll try my best to train to become taller.. maybe by skipping everyday and if possible, drink milk also.. hahax.. 178 is my ideal height.. and hope that my slouch and back posture will get better by then and it can be straightened to make me taller..

I have being having serious sleeping disorders lately.. i'm like sleeping less every night.. i would often slp at ard 3 plus or 4 plus in the morning and wake up for sch again the nxt morning at 6.. even now the time is also 1.33am.. LOLX.. but surpiringly, i feel very full of energy.. like i'm being revitalised like that..

ok lah.. blog till here.. most prob will be MIA for a period of time bah.. hahax.. =)

I never felt so loved before.. it's like the feeling is beyond what words can explain.. it was like i was hearing this song majesty by planet shakers (from album pick it up) on my phone.. but the unusual thing was i was tearing over it and it was a praise song with some heavy electric guitar and drum in it.. but i was just crying.. the presense was so strong.. The song All to You ended it all, i just broke off into tears when i got off the bus and walked home.. i just walked slowly across the route so that the presence will never fade..

i always felt that You have already left me.. i'm all alone in this battle.. but today i'm very assured that You really love me.. you have never left me but i've neglected you.. i've hurt you and left you all alone.. let me humble myself before you.. let me be in your presence forevermore.. i want that love of yours again to engulf me.. i want it to be with me every single second.. i need you.. i need your love desperately.. even tho it was the darkest times of my life, i know that you are with me always.. i want more of your touch.. i want to be selfish.. i want total of you with me.. you are so great, so magnificient, so marvellous.. i just want you to be by my side forever..

no one ever will understand how i feel and what i meant.. period..

Alright.. hahax.. finally back to blog again.. hahax.. today i'll blog about cross country.. hahax..

last friday was cross country.. really so darn taxed over it lah.. hahax.. althought i wasnt part of the planning organisation but only the supervising group.. I must say that i'l really impressed..

Woke up at ard 4.30.. as usual.. i cant really slp during events held by the sports leaders.. especially BIG BIG ones.. so i slept at 2am and woke up at ard 4.30am.. but i dont know y i was so energetic.. so i used com a while went to bath and fell asleep while sitting on the toilet bowl with water splashing on my face.. hahax.. =X.. bo bian lah.. no enough slp mah.. hahax.. so went to meet wei li and juli for breakfast at 5.45am.. at admiralty the mac.. was super early lah.. we were like the only ones there lor.. hahax.. so took a cab down as like waited for a long time no bus.. the price of the cab was like so ex lah.. 5 dollars plus from my house to admiralty.. sian diao lor.. still midnight charge.. LOLX.. so ate liao took 913 to sch with them..

Reached sch liao had briefing.. den over liao the action began.. got some miscommunication.. hahax.. den went to get all my sports leaders back.. so as i was walking that time, saw nJ.. she was telling me about wanna change job with me lor.. LOLX.. bcoz the night before, i told her what my job was and she say it was so shiok lor.. better than running.. hahax.. try doing my job lah.. u will vomit blood one at times.. especially during big events like this.. after national anthem, went to walk walk outside the cross country path.. was freaking long lah.. walk 2 rounds around it.. finally when i get back to school.. it was finally about to start.. hahax.. so i was part of the group with the starters.. and in th end, i took over the entire job of the field.. was supposed to walk ard only.. but in the end, gotta do job somemore.. freaking pissed off lah.. alot of ppl also ask me alot of nonsense qns..

i must say that i'm extremely impressed with the sports leaders.. they really did their job very well.. especially the overall ICs and the new probational sports leaders.. had our debrief.. it was really very fun lah.. hahax.. especially when warda we telling her story of what time she came and what happened.. was really stupid lah but at least it made every one lauged.. hahax..

well.. what to say leh.. just feeling very sad now lah.. i just realised that this X-country will be my last sports leaders event as the President.. sobx.. it's time for me to end my reign as a president.. my time is up liao and i gotta focus on my o lvl.. my biggest worry now i must say is my juniors especially the exco.. i hope that they will do well without the 4 heads watching over them.. and hope that a few of them will really rise up more.. dont disappoint me guys..

ok lah.. blog till here bah =)

Hehex.. here to blog again.. didnt went to sch today.. was extremely sick early this morning..


Woke up this morning and vomitted rather badly.. threw up alot of gastric juices and i became very weak out of a sudden.. not enough sleep lately bah.. i'm so extremely taxed lah.. like bathing can even close eye and slp in the toilet while bathing after school these days.. hahax..

today spent my whole morning doing my development for my fnn coursework.. it's like 65% done already.. from 0 to now 65.. got ard 4 pages already and i still have more additional important stuff to key in.. slept in the afternoon.. woke up at 4 plus and went online.. den chat with Cutie lor.. hahax.. after that, met hafiz at 6 den we went to uncle lim there to restring hafiz's racket.. hahax.. so sian right my day.. but i think i've already made up all the sleep i've lost..

I'm like so pissed off with something lah.. Sports leaders photo taking is not on THURSDAY!!! it's today and i missed it.. Sports leader photo got no president.. cool eh.. hahax.. 1st time in history.. but i'm really blessed to have my sports leaders who cared for me and asked me how was i and y wasnt i in sch today.. tks guys.. you rocks.. hahax.. but pls, if u see me in sch, dont talk about it in front of me pls.. i'm already sad enough.. my last yr leh.. i've waited so long to finally sit on the right or Mr Ang but today, i missed it totally.. but honestly speaking, if i even knew that photo taking was today, i dont think i'll come.. i'm like so not feeling well lah...

Well.. wanna take this time to thank Cutie Ting.. hahax.. she spent time with me till 1 plus am just to pei me so that i'll complete my homework.. tks eh.. really appreciated.. hahax.. =)

ok lah.. blog till here..