I never felt so loved before.. it's like the feeling is beyond what words can explain.. it was like i was hearing this song majesty by planet shakers (from album pick it up) on my phone.. but the unusual thing was i was tearing over it and it was a praise song with some heavy electric guitar and drum in it.. but i was just crying.. the presense was so strong.. The song All to You ended it all, i just broke off into tears when i got off the bus and walked home.. i just walked slowly across the route so that the presence will never fade..

i always felt that You have already left me.. i'm all alone in this battle.. but today i'm very assured that You really love me.. you have never left me but i've neglected you.. i've hurt you and left you all alone.. let me humble myself before you.. let me be in your presence forevermore.. i want that love of yours again to engulf me.. i want it to be with me every single second.. i need you.. i need your love desperately.. even tho it was the darkest times of my life, i know that you are with me always.. i want more of your touch.. i want to be selfish.. i want total of you with me.. you are so great, so magnificient, so marvellous.. i just want you to be by my side forever..

no one ever will understand how i feel and what i meant.. period..

Alright.. hahax.. finally back to blog again.. hahax.. today i'll blog about cross country.. hahax..

last friday was cross country.. really so darn taxed over it lah.. hahax.. althought i wasnt part of the planning organisation but only the supervising group.. I must say that i'l really impressed..

Woke up at ard 4.30.. as usual.. i cant really slp during events held by the sports leaders.. especially BIG BIG ones.. so i slept at 2am and woke up at ard 4.30am.. but i dont know y i was so energetic.. so i used com a while went to bath and fell asleep while sitting on the toilet bowl with water splashing on my face.. hahax.. =X.. bo bian lah.. no enough slp mah.. hahax.. so went to meet wei li and juli for breakfast at 5.45am.. at admiralty the mac.. was super early lah.. we were like the only ones there lor.. hahax.. so took a cab down as like waited for a long time no bus.. the price of the cab was like so ex lah.. 5 dollars plus from my house to admiralty.. sian diao lor.. still midnight charge.. LOLX.. so ate liao took 913 to sch with them..

Reached sch liao had briefing.. den over liao the action began.. got some miscommunication.. hahax.. den went to get all my sports leaders back.. so as i was walking that time, saw nJ.. she was telling me about wanna change job with me lor.. LOLX.. bcoz the night before, i told her what my job was and she say it was so shiok lor.. better than running.. hahax.. try doing my job lah.. u will vomit blood one at times.. especially during big events like this.. after national anthem, went to walk walk outside the cross country path.. was freaking long lah.. walk 2 rounds around it.. finally when i get back to school.. it was finally about to start.. hahax.. so i was part of the group with the starters.. and in th end, i took over the entire job of the field.. was supposed to walk ard only.. but in the end, gotta do job somemore.. freaking pissed off lah.. alot of ppl also ask me alot of nonsense qns..

i must say that i'm extremely impressed with the sports leaders.. they really did their job very well.. especially the overall ICs and the new probational sports leaders.. had our debrief.. it was really very fun lah.. hahax.. especially when warda we telling her story of what time she came and what happened.. was really stupid lah but at least it made every one lauged.. hahax..

well.. what to say leh.. just feeling very sad now lah.. i just realised that this X-country will be my last sports leaders event as the President.. sobx.. it's time for me to end my reign as a president.. my time is up liao and i gotta focus on my o lvl.. my biggest worry now i must say is my juniors especially the exco.. i hope that they will do well without the 4 heads watching over them.. and hope that a few of them will really rise up more.. dont disappoint me guys..

ok lah.. blog till here bah =)

Hehex.. here to blog again.. didnt went to sch today.. was extremely sick early this morning..


Woke up this morning and vomitted rather badly.. threw up alot of gastric juices and i became very weak out of a sudden.. not enough sleep lately bah.. i'm so extremely taxed lah.. like bathing can even close eye and slp in the toilet while bathing after school these days.. hahax..

today spent my whole morning doing my development for my fnn coursework.. it's like 65% done already.. from 0 to now 65.. got ard 4 pages already and i still have more additional important stuff to key in.. slept in the afternoon.. woke up at 4 plus and went online.. den chat with Cutie lor.. hahax.. after that, met hafiz at 6 den we went to uncle lim there to restring hafiz's racket.. hahax.. so sian right my day.. but i think i've already made up all the sleep i've lost..

I'm like so pissed off with something lah.. Sports leaders photo taking is not on THURSDAY!!! it's today and i missed it.. Sports leader photo got no president.. cool eh.. hahax.. 1st time in history.. but i'm really blessed to have my sports leaders who cared for me and asked me how was i and y wasnt i in sch today.. tks guys.. you rocks.. hahax.. but pls, if u see me in sch, dont talk about it in front of me pls.. i'm already sad enough.. my last yr leh.. i've waited so long to finally sit on the right or Mr Ang but today, i missed it totally.. but honestly speaking, if i even knew that photo taking was today, i dont think i'll come.. i'm like so not feeling well lah...

Well.. wanna take this time to thank Cutie Ting.. hahax.. she spent time with me till 1 plus am just to pei me so that i'll complete my homework.. tks eh.. really appreciated.. hahax.. =)

ok lah.. blog till here..

ystd went for cell group.. during sermon, yao hui was sharing with us a story.. i find it extremely touching, so i just wanna share it with you all so i'll just post it here..

The story goes..
Last time, there was the vietnam war.. A soldier went there for the war to fight for the US against the vietnamese..

So after the war, the man went back to the US.. he was at San Francisco and he gave his mum a call home..

"RING RING".. the phone rang..

Mum: Hi
Son: Hi mum, i'm back already..

Mum: That's great.. so u coming home?
Son: yeah i am but there is a problem..

Mum: What's the problem son??
Son: Well you see, i've met a new friend during the war, he was a mate of mine during the war and we fought side by side supporing one another.. and he's homeless..

Mum: Oh.. it's ok.. just invite him to come.. we will welcome him for sure..
Son: But mum.. there's a bigger problem..

Mum: What is it??
Son: Well you see, my friend he steped on a land mine during the war and lost an arm and a leg.. you sure it's ok..

Mum: Why didnt you tell me earlier..? is it ok if he stays along and san francisco.. bcoz i feel that if he stays with us, he will be a burden and bring alot of problem for us even if u were to look after him..

Suddenly, in a fit of anger, the son hung up the phone..

3 days later, someone knocked on the woman's door.. it was a policeman from San Francisco.. he said "madam, i have a matter that i'll need your help, is it ok that you come with me back to the station..?" The woman agreed and followed..

Instead, they headed for a hospital.. they went to a room where all the dead bodies are kept in the freezer.. the woman ask the officer what is she doing there.. and a drawer was open.. the police asked her "madam, is this your son??"

The woman looked into it.. on it lays her son.. with one arm and a leg missing.. she just broke down and wept uncontrollably..

End of Story
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So what can we learn from it.. we gotta accept everyone who is around us.. love and treat them equally.. all old and young, able or disabled.. we gotta love them whole-heartedly.. the consequences is large to bear if we reject them.. who knows, you may experience what the woman has.. who knows, the nxt person who will call u and ask this qns may be ur own son or siblings or even ur spouse.. dont ever regret the decision you make.. treasure everyone around you...

Alright.. hahax.. here to blog again.. seems like i have being MIA for along period of time.. hahax.. had being extremely busy and tired lately so didnt have the time to..

Well, it has being exactly a week since my 16th birthday.. hahax.. wanna thank Tongxin, Rene and Yixi for their mushrooms.. Freaking cute lah.. hahahax.. wanna thank wei li and juli for spending time off to watch movie with me.. wanna thank mum and bro for the meal at ichiiban sushi.. wanna thank N299 for the wallet.. wanna thank karen for a new bible which i extremely love it.. and lastly.. thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday last fri in sch.. hahax.. people like nJ who wrote wishes to me in her blog as well.. i'm so touched and gald over it.. tks alot girl.. love u.. =X .. really had a sweet 16 birthday.. hehex.. =)

The past week has had alot of things happening.. lets start from sat bah..

Sat (30th June)
Woke up and had breakfast with mum.. headed for service ard 12.30 as i had usher duty on.. GOTTA WEAR FORMAL!!! it was freaking hot lah the weather.. extremely monsterous.. so i reported and got a shocked of my life.. once i reach hall 1, i reported straight to charlie to jennifer.. den she told me that i was gonna be terrace sub IC on that day of service.. it means that i will look after the terrace with Charlie 2 who is gaius at that time.. i really wanna thank her for giving me that opportunity lah as i feel that it's about time for me to rise up in usher ministry.. so everything went on fine in the terrace throughout the service and i went to help to set up BS rooms and went for recycling.. den i was waiting for jennifer to give me debrief so i waited at logis.. and guess what, karen came to me and say she wanna buy me a bdae present.. wah.. so touched lah.. she got me a new bible.. i got pages missing from my previous one.. so left hall 1 den headed to burger king and the cell group celebrated my birthday there.. really gald tho.. hahax.. den headed home liao from there..
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So not many things happen after that.. everything was normal.. great.. spend my 1 day holiday doing maths and working hard for my exams.. it's like it seems that ms ong and ms yeo really motivate me alot lah.. although they are not teaching me but it's like the way they treat M5.. by giving them maths practices all the time.. it's like it makes me feel like i really need to practice more.. it really motivates me to do more sums so that i can score better for my Os.. i really hope that i can express my thanks to them.. LOLX..

But during this week, there is one matter that really rages me.. it happened on wed.. well, i was having oral on wed.. my chinese O LVL ORAL SOMEMORE!!! den last lesson was miss liao's lesson.. went to AVA room to have it.. and guess what happened?? she dont allow the 6 of us to leave at 1.40 for a break before our oral leh.. say we gotta do our work first.. an acceptable one den we can go.. the worst part was.. she the queue was like freaking long lah.. den we only left the AVA room at reporting time.. when we reached the hall, everyone was like getting settled down in the hall liao lah.. den not really prepared yet.. somemore 1st 3 to take.. wah.. damm pissed lah.. nevermind.. i just tahan her lah.. until O lvls.. just hope that we can take it lor.. besides no matter what, she's still our teacher and we gotta respect her..

Just received our structure remedial time table today.. hahax.. freaking long lah.. end everyday except on wed at 4340!!! Oh my goodness.. fainting already.. but i believe that i'll adapt to it soom one lah.. hahax..

ok lah.. blog till here.. =)